To find a wife is!

According to Proverbs 18:22 finding a wife is a good thing and a man obtains favor from the Lord. But despite the blessing that God promised, statistics suggest that a high percentage of African Americans may not believe or agree with the book of wisdom. African Americans represent the lowest percentage of married people in America, marrying at a rate of 42 percent. Whites and Hispanics marry at a rate of 61 and 59 percent respectively.

Some of the factors negatively affecting African American marriages are their prevailing attitudes. Many of today's professional African American women believe they don't need a man, and too many brothers prefer to chase pussy rather than prosperity. "There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death," advises Proverbs 14:12.

The prospect of hookin’ up with women who have phat booties and fine bodies can be intoxicating, but the results of “being the man” eventually leaves most brothers in a drunken emptiness searching for a greater purpose in life.

“I looked hard and what I saw alarmed me,” explained James Moore, a successful Washington, D.C. entrepreneur, about his behavior. “I found myself in the same ritual for years. All I did was club and womanize. I had nothing to show for it. Five years of my life was gone and my pockets were empty and all the women I encountered were gone for one reason or another; and my business was stagnate.”

Selfish desires motivate selfish men to “abandon sound principles of conduct.” “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment,” reads Proverbs 18:1. Brothers who act as if there’s power in possessing the pleasure of poo-tang don't know the prosperity in the blessings of a good wife.

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies,” reads Proverbs 31:10. Verses 11 through 20 continue, “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruits of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her lions with strength, and strengtheneth her arms . . . She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

As a happily married man, I’ll admit making the commitment to marry wasn’t an easy decision. As a bachelor I owned a beautiful home, a thriving business and had my share of fine sisters who I hung with. Reflecting upon those days, I must admit – it was fun! But my fun as a womanizer doesn’t compare to the joy I receive from being “in one” with my wife. Chasing women will have you accomplishing just that – chasing.

Since that day almost six years ago when I said “I do,” my growth as a man has increased tenfold. My wife provides a spirit of peace for me. She lends an ear to my concerns, acts as sounding board for my ideas, keeps me in check if I step out of line, and is my most ardent cheerleader. Her support allows me the opportunity to focus on projects that will benefit our legacy.

Like mansions, legacies aren’t built with temporary foundations or in this case provisional women. If the amount of energy, time and finances is invested in efforts that deliver short-lived results, what’s the point? If what you are seeking as a man is long-term success, the road you should travel is by way of a good wife. “. . . the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him,” Genesis 2:18.

Brothers, it’s really simple. No matter how smart, debonair, masculine or how much “the man” you might be, you will never become the man you’re destined to be until you accept the Eve that God designed for you.

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